five frivolous minutes over pickled beans with ‘cd’ — age 46

Things I know about ‘cd’.

For her first birthday her mother made a cake entirely out of whip cream, sat ‘cd’ down in nothing but a diaper and let her have at it. Which she did. I can’t remember if I was there in person or just remember it from the movie.

She’s an excellent cook, afraid of heights, was good at baseball and has a large dog (when asked if he bites she says: only if I tell him to.)

She was the first person I ever babysat and when she was twelve she came to stay with me for a while in Toronto, during which time she tried to clean my apartment and broke the cover of an electrical outlet so hopped on a bus in search of a replacement. She didn’t find one but it was a fascinating story she told when I got home from work. This was a kid who grew up in a small town; she had zip knowledge of the city. I remember being torn between freaking out and being touched. I think touched won, but I still shake my head over her chutzpah. Years later, on another visit, we were about to order a drink in a restaurant when I sensed something bad about to happen at the next table. We left just in time to see someone being thrown through the front window. ‘cd’ wanted to stay to see how things came out. I was driving. We left.

She says it was me that introduced her to the Crunchie bar. I don’t see her often; she has lived in the States for at least twenty-five years. It is impossible to spend time in her company and not have your cheeks hurt from laughing. Hers is one of my favourite voices to hear over the phone.

How long could you go without talking?  A month.

Do you prefer silence or noise? Silence.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Less than 10.

If you won the lottery? I’d pay bills, buy an island, a beach house or something in Muskoka, kids’ tuition.

One law you’d make? Death penalty for pedophiles. Send sex predators to a remote island all their own.

Unusual talent? Throwing together a meal out of nothing.

What do you like to cook? Mac and cheese (because of the reaction it gets).

Have you or would you ever bungee jump? I haven’t, but I’d love to, but I won’t.

What’s the most dare-devilish thing you’ve done? I once jumped off a cliff into the lake.

Do you like surprise parties, practical jokes? Yes to both as long as no one gets hurt.

Favourite time of day? 8 – 9 a.m.

What tree would you be? An apple tree.

What do you like on your toast? Lots of butter.

The last thing you drew a picture of? Superman.

Last thing written in ink? Hours for work.

Favourite childhood meal? Potato stuffed dumplings.

What [past] age was your favourite? 30

Would you go back if you could? No. 

Best invention? Sliced bread.

Describe your childhood bedroom. No windows, no air, hot, stuffy.

Afraid of spiders? Outside, no. Inside, yes. But centipedes are worse.

Phobias? Heights, confined spaces.

Least favourite teacher and why? First grade teacher, wouldn’t let you go to the bathroom.

Favourite children’s story? Little Red Riding Hood.

Ideal picnic ingredients? Bread, wine, cheese, pickled string beans.

Is Barbie a negative role model? Yes.

Best thing about Canada? It’s where I was born. Home.

Best thing about people in general? They can reproduce.

What flavour would you be? Maple walnut.

What colour? Red.

What would you come back as? A horse.

Favourite saying: “Really?” (That’s the PC version.)
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—the frivolous five, a series of frivolity

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2 thoughts on “five frivolous minutes over pickled beans with ‘cd’ — age 46

  1. I so relate to this answer, especially in regard to bungee jumping, although I can think of a few other things I would apply it to: “I haven’t, but I’d love to, but I won’t.”

    I also love cd’s mother’s approach to one-year-old birthday parties.

    And I enjoy your interviews!

    1. Ha! I agree. That answer could apply to a lot of things. It’s perfectly honest, isn’t it.

      And re the birthday party: CD’s mum would be pleased. She was awfully good at ‘fun’.

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