thirty truths: 19

This morning I saw a guy back an eighteen wheeler flatbed from a busy main street into the narrow driveway of a small parking lot; men working on the windows of the building next door stopped to watch but I didn’t think it was particularly special. I waited in a short queue of cars, feeling nothing but mild irritation.

Only later did it occur to me that art comes in many forms.

*Note: I wanted a picture of a semi for this post but because I hadn’t taken one myself, I googled “eighteen wheeler, picture” and this came up with the caption The Burning Man Project, which meant nothing to me. So I googled it and—amazingly—it happens to be an art festival.

thirty truths: 16

Truth #16: Something about lunch boxes gets to me.

I’m pretty sure it started with Gene Stratton-Porter’s A Girl of the Limberlost (which I’ve written about before and probably will again) and the primitive bucket Elnora Comstock carried to school through the woods. She was poor and her father was dead and her mother was mean and the other kids teased her about everything, including the bucket, but I never felt sorry for her, on the contrary I envied her the contents, which always seemed so delicious (all I remember now is a spice cake… but I’ve been remembering it for decades). It was the first book I read where food played any kind of important role.

My version was a square, tinny box with a red handle and the Flintstones painted on both sides. It smelled of milk and mustard and when I opened it, even though I lived in an ordinary bungalow in a GM town, I was—for the duration of lunch—wild and beautiful, auburn haired Elnora in her handmade dresses, clever and resourceful in her tiny cabin in the Limberlost swamp… rising above the unkindness of the ‘town’ kids, succeeding just when everyone thought she would fail.

Lunch is still my favourite meal.

thirty truths: 12

Truth #12: I don’t understand the desire to look younger. I’ve always looked older than I am and it’s always been a positive. When I was seventeen it got me into bars. Very soon it’ll get me a jump on seniors’ discounts. 

“Winning…”

thirty truths: 8

Truth #8: I have officially fallen in love with a cheese.
And I don’t say this lightly. I’ve been around the les fromages block, have savoured plenty of equally local and goat varieties—some of similar firmness, even ones that sport that je ne sais quoi  ‘nutty’ quality that makes cheese such a pleasant companion—but this is different… this is the real thing.
This is love.

thirty truths: 7

The truth is I’ve been feeling more than a little superior since becoming comfortable saying hors-d’oeuvre rather than hors-d’oeuvres after learning that regardless of how many are on the plate, it’s the hors that’s plural and never ever the oeuvre…

Smugness is so unattractive, n’est pas?

thirty truths: 6

 

Truth #6: Okay, it was me. I broke Mrs. Thingy-Next-Door’s perfume.

The expensive, exquisite bottle from France, or Spain or Norway. Somewhere far and fragrant was the point—or so my friend D explained as she whispered me into her parents’ bedroom to see the stuff for myself.

But you can’t smell it, she said, it’s too precious. It’ll evaporate if you open it, you can’t even touch the bottle, she said, then went to the kitchen to get us some Captain Crunch.

I touched it the moment she left. I turned it over in my hand, admired its tiny perfectness, such a contrast to Mrs. Thingy herself, whose hands, she’d once told us, had regularly wrung the necks of chickens on her grandfather’s farm. D had explained how one drop would do you for a whole night of dancing; so powerful was it you couldn’t sweat it off. I turned the miniature top to the right in exactly the way you might open a tube of toothpaste, except instead of a screw cap there was a little glass stopper and what I’d done was snap the neck right off.

Oh fudge. Or nine year old words to that effect.

I balanced the broken halves on the dresser as well as I could, then flew past D in the kitchen and out the back door, yelling something about forgotten homework. I calmed myself with logic, figured by the time Mrs. Thingy went anyplace special enough to use the perfume no one would even remember I’d been in the room. She’d think she broke it dusting.

Events after D and her mother arrived at our house  with those chicken killing hands are a bit of a blur. I remember D crying, her mother blaming her, D saying no, no, it was her, it was her, pointing at me. I have no memory of confessing or denying the crime. I can’t remember if D was punished or if I was or if we did hard time together. All memory will allow is that it was a very long, drawn out, noisy and unpleasant ‘situation’.

But for the record, yeah, it was me.
Sorry.